The Most Important Thing You Can Own
In my most recent article, “The Time for Change Is Now,” we looked at the need to meet the massive continuing shifts on our planet head-on. When we learn to withstand and actually create meaningful changes for ourselves and the world, we work to our ultimate advantage. In so doing, we give our well-being and Earth’s societies and ecosystems the opportunity to survive, and thrive together. Because many people and cultures have preferred comfort over change, we have some work to do to make this new mindset and practice possible.
Although moving from resisting change to embracing major transformations seems like a huge leap, intentional small steps can get us there before we know it. This work begins with each of us facing a mirror. We start with our own minds and hearts, so that the way we show up in the world eventually helps us to tackle growing together. By refining the ways in which we honor our unique selves, caring for and authentically presenting ourselves to the world and those around us, we create a stronger foundation that can ultimately flourish through change.
As philosopher James Allen reasoned, “Only by much searching and mining are gold and diamonds obtained, and man can find every truth connected with his being, if he will dig deep into the mine of his soul.” The work of forging ahead into the unpredictable future requires some serious resources of inner strength and awareness. The first step is to deeply know and care for yourself. Taking this responsibility for yourself — embracing this decision to own yourself — allows you to fully show up for your life.
First and foremost, I do not suggest that you begin a process of accepting and creating change because you aren’t good enough now. We have to start in self-compassion. Thankfully, the process of learning to actualize and understand your nature, your uniqueness, and your personal gifts and strengths gives you one of the most crucial benefits of development: deep acceptance. Only in this state can you welcome personal evolution from the place of deserving, rather than shame. It takes time, but that dramatic shift in mindset brings countless benefits, including an increase in motivation, confidence, and possibility for the future.
Starting in the present, what occurs when you pay attention to your mental chatter? Just noticing might blow your mind. No matter how hard you might try, you’ll always have a particular set of thought patterns that influence your decisions, relationships, attitude, and honestly, entire life. Learning to incorporate awareness into your way of living by quieting some of those voices can have a profound impact on life satisfaction. What might happen if you focused on witnessing and eventually learning to harness those persistent voices into an inner world that works for you, instead of against you?
Another huge advantage of intentionally examining your own depths? Fulfillment. Twenty years ago, ten years ago, two years ago, I made decisions differently than I do today. Some of my ideals and aspirations look very different than they did. Developing the ability to let go of the attachment to who you were changes everything. If you dare to investigate today’s values, direction, and desires, you’ll have a chance to live more authentically and with resonant purpose.
As the fuller truth of your personhood emerges, honor that by taking your first major step toward change: allow people to know you as yourself. Instead of creating different versions of yourself to appeal to different groups of people, take the risk of just showing up honestly and without apology. You deserve to stop fragmenting your identity to appeal to the room.
This may seem scary at first, but time and practice make it easier and more satisfying over time, as people begin to see and often accept the real you. Often, we exhaust ourselves by trying to project a perfect image of ourselves to those around us, apologizing for whom we are, or explaining our choices to make the people we love see us a certain way. Ironically, when we stop trying to control anyone else’s perception, we more confidently command respect in our truth.
The most important thing you can ever own is yourself. Imagine when you accept and know yourself and can embody that essence everywhere you go. Then, you can drive a clear and purposeful path to create your best life.
Over several articles, we’ll dive deep into methods of clearing off the countless layers of conditioning that have colored the way you see yourself. We’ll look at ways of recognizing and releasing culturalization, developing curiosity over judgment, and exploring without expectation. Mindfulness and storytelling will join forces. The revolutionary work of creating champions through care starts with truly seeing who we are now. Let’s go.
Abigail Wright is a transformational coach, singer, and author. You can find her work at abigailwright.com. Learn more about her coaching practice, book a sample session, and see what’s possible at timeforchange.coach.
References
Allen, James, 1864–1912. As a Man Thinketh. Mount Vernon, N.Y. :Peter Pauper Press, 1951.
Keng, Shian-Ling et al. “Effects of mindfulness on psychological health: a review of empirical studies.” Clinical psychology review vol. 31,6 (2011): 1041–56. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2011.04.006
